At this point I have two options 1. medical menopause (induced with 1 Lupron Depot shot each month for 3 months) or 2. use a surrogate. That's it. Neither of us wants to use a surrogate so I'm going to do the 3 months of menopause - AGAIN. I will take my first shot on Wednesday (if the pharmacy gets it in time). One shot is $650.00 and not covered by insurance. I know I should not complain because so much of our infertility has been covered by insurance which has been a real blessing. It is so hard for me to understand why I cannot catch a break. I've given up so much and sacrificed so much and it feels like it has all been for nothing. I'm no closer to getting pregnant than I was on the day we started trying to conceive. I have 3 perfect frozen embryos and a crappy uterus. I've been doing weekly acupuncture since November (also not covered by insurance) and my uterus doesn't seem to be any better, however I did get some nice embryos after I started going regularly so I guess it hasn't been a total waste.
I'm having a pity party for one tonight. I just feel so beaten down, discouraged and really let down by God. There are so many people praying for me and I'm praying for a miracle and it just seems to be falling on deaf ears. I know God has a plan for me but I really feel like it doesn't include a family of my own.
I'm going back to my pity party which doesn't include cake and ice cream. Maybe it should.
You are allowed to have a pity party, but I think you should have something fun to eat with it. :D I'm sorry that you are going to have to go through medical menopause again. What is the goal with the three months with the treatment?
ReplyDeleteI am keeping you in my thoughts as always. I'm so glad that you got away from it all with your vacation! You look like you had FUN!
I'm so sorry the result was not good. Sounds like you have been through a lot (will go and read a few posts for the full story). I don't blame you for being upset - personally, I would include the ice-cream in my party :)
ReplyDeleteICLW
Very sorry that you got these results.
ReplyDeleteAll parties, pity or otherwise, should have cake.
Take care.
ICLW
I am sorry that your test results were not what you were hoping for. My heart breaks for you as you go thru this sucky journey.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ICLW
Ugh, I'm sorry the results were abnormal, that sucks. And it's ok to have a pity party every now and then. Mine always has ice cream, usually straight out of the tub.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you didn't get the test results you were hoping for. Having a pity party is completely understandable and I hope yours has some wonderful cake. {{{Hugs}}}
ReplyDelete~ICLW
I'm sorry your DR called with results you didn't want to hear (didn't want period) ... however being hard on yourself for having feelings about it isn't going to solve anything, you are at least getting your feelings out and not bottling them up which could cause more problems. I can only send many {{{Hugs}}} and prayers for an accepting uterus for your awaiting babies.
ReplyDeleteFound you via the ICLW links
CAKE and ICE CREAM! Much deserved. I am so sorry that you will need to go the menopause route. This journey just sucks. I will pray that all will be well in the end and you will have the baby you long for.
ReplyDeleteAs hard as it is, try not to give up hope. We just got a BFP after six IVFs and five losses, (praying this one sticks) so you never know when it might work.
ICLW
I am so so sorry.
ReplyDeletebut you need cake.
we've got shoulders for you to rest on.
LFCA
I'm so sorry that your results were not what you wanted to hear. I hope that the Lupron will be just the thing you need to get your body ready for those beautiful embabies. Go have that cake dammit. You deserve it!
ReplyDelete*ICLW*
I am sorry the results did not come back as normal. I have researched the lining tests a bit myself and have found that not all REs agree on the validity of the EFT test. I also want to share a bit of my story with you as I also went through getting abnormal results from an EFT. This was before IVF #2 and I did 2 months of Depot Lupron. Unfortunately this cycle was a bfn for me - but the DL was not great for me before a fresh ivf as I think it oversuppressed me. I didn't have the greatest embies to tx so maybe that was the reason for the bfn. I then did fresh ivf #3 at another clinic and got better embryos - but still bfn. I did not do the lining tests but proceeded to do an FET which was a bfp. It's early days (7.5 weeks) but I think I did get implantation which means my lining was probably ok.
ReplyDeleteIf this did not work I was thinking of doing cgh/microarray and then doing Depot Lupron as well just to be sure - same protocol as you are doing. You are doing absolutely everything you can!
I am hopeful that this course of action will get you your BFP and I wish you lots of luck.
I hope that was helpful in some way...
I completely understand your pity party as I have btdt many times myself. By all means break out the cake and ice cream, you deserve it.
Wishing you the best of luck!
I'm sorry the results were not good. I know those three months will be tough. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts
ICLW