At this point I have two options 1. medical menopause (induced with 1 Lupron Depot shot each month for 3 months) or 2. use a surrogate. That's it. Neither of us wants to use a surrogate so I'm going to do the 3 months of menopause - AGAIN. I will take my first shot on Wednesday (if the pharmacy gets it in time). One shot is $650.00 and not covered by insurance. I know I should not complain because so much of our infertility has been covered by insurance which has been a real blessing. It is so hard for me to understand why I cannot catch a break. I've given up so much and sacrificed so much and it feels like it has all been for nothing. I'm no closer to getting pregnant than I was on the day we started trying to conceive. I have 3 perfect frozen embryos and a crappy uterus. I've been doing weekly acupuncture since November (also not covered by insurance) and my uterus doesn't seem to be any better, however I did get some nice embryos after I started going regularly so I guess it hasn't been a total waste.
I'm having a pity party for one tonight. I just feel so beaten down, discouraged and really let down by God. There are so many people praying for me and I'm praying for a miracle and it just seems to be falling on deaf ears. I know God has a plan for me but I really feel like it doesn't include a family of my own.
I'm going back to my pity party which doesn't include cake and ice cream. Maybe it should.