I'm an Aunt but not a Mommy

On Saturday June 13th I became an Aunt.  My brother and his wife had their first child and my mother's first grandchild.  This is my YOUNGER brother.  Of course this is one of those happy fertile stories where his wife went off the pill and the very next month she was pregnant.  She had a perfect pregnancy and now a perfect little baby girl named Olivia.  

I didn't attend my sister-in-laws baby shower because it was just too much for me to handle.  I had just finished IVF #4 and I just couldn't face a happy baby shower.  I know that anyone going through infertility understands how hard a baby shower is, but unfortunately fertile people don't get it.  However, I'm digressing here and there is no need to travel down that path now.

I went to see baby Olivia on Sunday when she was less than 24 hours old.  I was really nervous because I didn't want to burst into floods of tears.  I went alone and there was no one there to oohh and aaahh, except for me.  I was able to spend some quality time with this new little family and my ever present emotions.

I have to tell you when I walked in the room and looked at my sister-in-law holding that perfect little baby I did get misty eyed.  How could I not, she is perfect and a miracle and I'm glad that she is my brother's miracle.  I got to sit in a rocking chair and hold perfect baby Olivia and she is so beautiful, with her ruby red lips and button nose.  I looked down at her and I thought to myself I REALLY want one of these.  

I've got a lot of people praying for my miracle. Hopefully I will get it soon.  

Me & Baby Olivia