God's Answer to my Prayers

God has answered my prayers! I'm pregnant!!! After 3 very long years of trying to get pregnant it finally happened. I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me. Your prayers mean so much and this would not have happened without them. I've questioned God and his timing so much but as one friend pointed out to me this is my turn. So many of my friends have been pregnant this year and it has been a hard year for me but now I will have their wisdom and new mother experiences to help me.

My beta today was 165.6 (hcG level). I go back on Wednesday and the number should double. This is one way to determine a viable pregnancy. I still have to continue taking my estrace pills and the progesterone suppositories until further notice. I think in two weeks I will get to hear the heartbeat. I'm scared but I've decided to enjoy every day of being pregnant and not let the fear take root. God has already mapped out his path for me and this baby and worrying will not change that. I will be constantly reminding myself of that.

Thank you God!

Transfer Day

This is our beautiful embryo that was transferred today. The transfer went well after a few false starts. I had to drink 40 oz of water prior to getting to the office and my bladder was SUPER full. My doctor was running late so the U/S tech said I could let out a little bit of urine. That is one of the hardest things to do. Super full bladder + having to stop in midstream = torture.

I posted before that my cervix seems to be closed up and that is the reason I had to have the cervical stitch. The first attempt at getting the catheter in did not go well so my RE decided to use a different sized catheter. He got this through my cervix easily while I watched on the ultrasound screen. Oh, I forgot to mention that the u/s tech was pressing the wand on my super full bladder the entire time. After the transfer the embryologist takes the catheter back in the lab to make sure it is empty. Of course mine was NOT. The embryo was stuck in the tip of the catheter. This is not harmful to the embryo which was my first thought. My RE had to use yet another type of catheter and everything went perfect on the last attempt. He then removed the cervical stitch and I didn't even feel it.

After lying on the table for about 20 minutes and spending 10 minutes emptying my bladder my mom drove me to the acupuncturist. I had a nice relaxing session and then came home to lie on the couch. My weekend plans are to lie flat on my back. My mom cooked dinner tonight and I have a friend bring me breakfast tomorrow and another friend bringing over a movie & dinner tomorrow night. My DH is getting off easy this weekend.

My beta (pregnancy test) is December 14th. These next 10 days are going to seem like eternity. Please keep the prayers going strong.

Last Meal

I had a lovely sushi dinner tonight with my mother. I am hoping this will be the last sushi I am able to eat for nine months. My mother lives about an hour away so she is spending the night tonight and taking me to the transfer tomorrow.

My transfer is at 12:30 p.m. and I have the last appointment slot so I can take as much time as I need lying on the table afterwards. I'm planning to spend 30 minutes lying flat on my back, then we are going straight to acupuncture to help calm my uterus and get the blood flowing directly to the uterus to allow for optimal conditions for implantation. When I get home I will update my blog.

I have had so many texts, phone calls and e-mails from my IRL friends and my blog buddies. I really appreciate the kind words and prayers. I'm praying hard for a miracle.

A Stitch in Mine

WARNING: Daddy skip this post - please

I went to the RE yesterday for my cervical stitch. My appointment was at 7.30 am - not the best way to start a Tuesday morning. I knew I was in trouble when the nurse kept saying "Oh, I'm sorry you have to have this. Yikes! Step 1 - spray the cervix with acid (I mean numbing spray). Step 2 - inject the cervix multiple times with numbing solution. However cervix isn't yet numb from spray so I felt the injections. Step 3 - put in stitch which involved lots of tugging and pressure. Done. My RE said that he was going to leave the thread long so it would be easy to remove on the day of the transfer. He said it would be like a tampon string and not to worry about it. I asked him if I could still work out because I didn't want to do anything to bust the stitch. I ONLY asked about working out but his response was you can work out, have inter.course (his word not mine), do most anything and not bust the stitch.

Fast forward to lunch time. I met my girlfriend JG for lunch and excused myself to run to the restroom. As I finished up I noticed not 1 but 2 cobalt blue 5 inch strings hanging out of my whoo-ha. I was NOT expecting that! I told JG I don't know what the RE was thinking when he said I could have s.e.x because what if those strings got wrapped around DH's joystick. I can only imagine that 911 call.

Everything is set for the transfer on Friday. I went to acupuncture on Monday and I'm going again tomorrow and then again Friday after the transfer. There went those new boots I saw at DSW today.

I want to take a moment to thank all the people that are praying for me. Just knowing how many people are praying for me fills my heart with love and joy. Thank you.

Thanksgiving at the Beach

I have been at the beach in Florida visiting my in-laws for the holidays. Today was a gorgeous day and I took a long walk on the beach. As I as walking along I snapped the attached picture with my i-phone. It was sunny and just perfect today and I even got sunburned. Nothing like a tank top tan in November.

Thanksgiving day we had a nice dinner and spent the day visiting and chasing around our 3 year old niece. I missed shopping on Black Friday but I did go to the movies with my sis-in-law. We saw Blind.Side and it is a great movie. Today more hanging out but I managed to take a nice long walk. We are headed home tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to seeing my fur babies. My friend S and her little poodle have been house sitting for me and taking care of the kitties.

The Estrace is going well and I haven't had any side effects (that I'm aware of but my DH might disagree). I started he Endometrin suppositories yesterday and tomorrow I will begin the Doxyclcyline & Medrol. In six long days I will be having my transfer. I can't believe it is almost here.

Unexpected Surprises

I received the nicest surprise in the mail on Monday from my friend D that lives in North Carolina. The angel is holding a seashell and on the bottom of the angel it says "thinking of you". This gift could not have come at a better time. I had just come home from visiting my friend J at the hospital. She gave birth to twins (b/g) on Monday after a battle with infertility. I'm so happy for her but it is a painful reminder that I started trying before her and I still have nothing to show for my 3 year battle with infertility. Thanks D for your thoughtfulness.

I went on Tuesday morning for my lining check. I had an ultrasound and my lining measured at 8.3. I'm totally on track for the transfer next Friday. I have to go back on Tuesday for the cervical stitch and discuss how many embryos to thaw out. We are only planning to put one back.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. We are in Daytona Beach Florida spending the holiday with my in-laws and my DH's sisters and 3 year old niece. I'm sure I'll have some stories to blog about later.

IVF FUN! WHAT???

I went to pick up my reading glasses tonight at the eye doctor (yeah I know I'm old) and it reminded me of what happened last week when I went to get my eyes examined. The female doctor was asking me of any changes and I said my eyes seemed to be drier than normal. She asked about any changes and I said I'd been taking hormones for IVF and her comment was FUN! After I closed my mouth I just looked at her and said "not really". We left it at that. Yes it was fun the first time when I was naive and thought it would work and I'd have a sweet little baby nine months later but after 5 IVF's and 3 years later there is nothing fun about this process. Fun is a roll in hay that results in a baby nine months later.

I started my estrace pills last Sunday and after a few days of headaches I feel like my old self again. I normally get headaches when estrogen is reintroduced into my system but they only last a couple of days. I go on Tuesday for an ultrasound to check my lining and some blood work. Things are going slowly right now but at least I have Thanksgiving and a trip to the beach to distract me. My in-laws live in a condo over looking the beach so that will be a nice way to spend the holiday.

I took this photo Saturday at the Atlanta Zoo. I imagine this what I will feel like after eating an early Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday at my dad's house and then another Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday with the in-laws. I even plan to help cook dinner on Thursday and for those of you that know me IRL (in real life) you know this will be a huge undertaking for me. I really dislike cooking but hopefully everything will turn out yummy and I won't have to help with the dishes.

Fur Babies

I have 2 darling little fur baby kitties Roxie (black & white female) and Nemo (solid black male). We've had them about 1 1/2 years and they are brother & sister. My question today is how much is too much? We just bought new bedroom furniture in order to upgrade to a king size bed because there wasn't enough room in our queen size bed for all four of us. Does that make me a crazy cat lady? We do love our new furniture and so do the kitties. They think we bought it just for them, oh right, we did.

I went to my last scheduled baby shower today and it went well. No tears this time so I'm making progress. My friend M looked great and has only gained 25 lbs and has 7 weeks to go. She decided not to find out the sex of the baby so it will be a surprise. We all complained because everyone was forced to buy gender neutral gifts. I guess that element of surprise will not come into play for me if I get pregnant because my best 3 frozen embryos are boys. I have 2 girl embryos but they are both slow growers so they will be last ones to put back.

I start my drugs next Sunday and I'm having the stitch put into my cervix on Dec 1st and the transfer will be Dec 4th. The time won't pass by fast enough for me! I'm so ready to take the next step.

Objects of Torture

I had the sonohysterogram yesterday and it did NOT go according to plan. According to my RE my cervix was closed tight. He could not get the catheter in so after a bit of poking and prodding he decided to dilate my cervix and use a smaller catheter. In order to dilate the cervix he sprayed my cervix with some numbing spray which feels like someone is spraying your who-ha with acid. My cervix was very sensitive yesterday so every thing he did was painful. He finally got the catheter in and then inserted the saline into my uterus. I'm pleased to say everything looked great in the uterus. There were no abnormalities. However the closed up cervix presents a problem because when I go for the embryo transfer everything has to go smoothly. You don't want to aggravate the cervix or dilate on transfer day because it is not good for implantation. I now have to go in about 4 days before my transfer and my RE is going to insert a stitch into my cervix (can't wait for that). I asked what was the purpose of the stitch and he said so he could get traction and help the catheter go in straight through the canal. This is why they like to do a trial run before transfer time to make sure there are no problems on transfer day.

Happy Halloween from Roxie & Nemo.

The Ball is Rolling (Slowly)

I finally have my calendar for the FET (frozen embryo transfer) and it is December 4th. I start my drugs to prepare my uterus on Nov. 15th. It is great to have something to look forward to because it has been a long wait.

On Thursday I'm having a sonohysterogram. For those of you who don't know what this is I'll explain. A sonohysterogram is to detect abnormalities on the inside walls of the uterus. The doctor will insert saline through a soft flexible plastic catheter while an ultrasound wand is monitoring the entire thing on a computer screen. The saline is injected into the uterine cavity to separate the walls and allow the doctor to see if any abnormalities exist. I had this done prior to my last transfer in March 2008 and luckily there were no issues. I will also have a "sounding" at the same time. The "sounding" is like a mock transfer to ensure the doctor can insert the same type of catheter that will be used during the actual transfer. I'm praying that all goes well.

Other Happenings & Updates: I decided NOT to go to the shower for the girl that is just an acquaintance. I sent a gift and just said that I had a conflict and could not make it. I decided there was no reason to put myself through the agony of a shower for someone I don't even know that well. I have one more shower to attend on Nov 8th and I adore the mommy-to-be so I look forward to seeing her. She no longer lives in Atlanta but some of her friends here decided to throw her a shower so it will be nice to see her again.

I'll post again after the sonohysterogram on Thursday.

Jury Duty

I was called for Jury Duty back in August and I requested a deferment because I was about to go on vacation. Well my deferment came due today. I had to drive to a sketchy part of Atlanta at the crack of dawn (7am but seemed like the crack of dawn) and serve my county. What a LONG and drawn out process. This was the first time I've ever had to go to jury duty. They make you wait in a huge room with about 400 other people and then they call your name (after 2 hours) and send you to a court room. I was juror #67 out of #68. I went to the court room and they tell you what the trial is and then ask a bunch of "group" questions and if they apply to you then you hold up your laminated juror number. That lasted about an hour. After that they had Row 1 stay, row 2 return in 1 1/2 hrs, row 3 to return at 2.15 and row 4,5 & 6 return at 3.30. It was 11.45 AM so I had nearly 4 hours to kill. UGH! This part of Atlanta isn't the nice area with all the shops, it is the area surrounded by homeless people. I did take myself to a nice lunch and I had a great piece of homemade key lime pie.

I walked back (about 1/2 mile) to the courthouse and sat in the sunshine for about another hour. At 3.30 a large group of us waited in the hallway on hard wooden benches. And we waited and waited. They called in a few people but they only made it to #48 before they had selected their 14 jurors. This was around 6pm. We all had to file back into the courtroom and after another hour we were finally free to go. Unbelievable process and I was never in the running to be a juror. I would say an entire day wasted but it was a small lesson about how our justice system works.

In case you are wondering the trial was for a teacher that was beaten by a 17 year old female student and her mother (the mother was tried last week and got 1 year in jail).

On a happy note, I had my 3rd and final shot this morning. YEAH! I'm planning to call the RE tomorrow and see if I can get my schedule for the FET. I hope to start the process in 28 days. It is like seeing a faint light at the end of a very long tunnel.

Showers Galore

I've been invited to three baby showers over the next few weeks. Yesterday was the first of the 3 baby showers and it was for a really old friend of mine. I met her the first day of college and she lived next door to me in the dorm. I'm really showing my age but that was 24 years ago (1985). Even thought we no longer live in the same state we have always kept in touch. It was great to see my girlfriend and the shower was nice. I thought I was doing well but as I walked out the door to my car I could feel the tears building up and by the time I got into my car they were pouring down my face. It was much harder than I had imagined and it left me in a major funk the rest of the day. Shower #2 is for a girl that is more of an acquaintance than friend so I will probably just skip that one. I bought a gift and RSVP but now I'm having second thoughts. I will make the final decision based on how I'm feeling.

On the IVF side of things I take my FINAL shot on Tuesday. I'm planning to call my RE's office to see if I can get my schedule for the FET (frozen embryo transfer). According to my schedule it should be the second week of December. I will either have a wonderful Christmas or one that really sucks. I praying for a good one!

I was nominated for an award:

Thanks Rachel for nominating me for this award!

New Blogger

Welcome New Readers.  This is my first time to participate in International Comment Leaving Week (IComLeavWe).  I am a very new blogger but not new to the world of infertility.  I just finished my 5th IVF and we did CGH testing and froze the embryos.  You can read my first post on June 4th and June 11th to get the background on.

For my family and friends I'm sure you are wondering what the heck I'm talking about.  There is a very famous blogger (http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com) and she has a list of blogs each month and you choose 5 to read each day and leave comments.  This is a good way to learn about other girls experiences and offer support to them and receive support from them.

I hope everyone enjoys my blog.  It has been a great experience to be able to put into words my feelings and share this with my family and friends.  Thanks for reading!

Birthday Wishes Do Come True

I had a fantastic birthday weekend.  It started with dinner on Friday night with my girlfriends.  Thanks girls for the wonderful dinner and yummy margaritas - cheers!  Then on Saturday night my hubby took me for a nice romantic dinner and he even bought me a sweet romantic card (not typical for him).  My weekend ended with my mom going to church with me, then brunch at Flying Biscuit and a funny play at Ansley Park Playhouse called Sunday at Loehmans.

My birthday wish that came true was I got a phone call right when I was walking out the door to church from my RE.  The results from the CGH testing came back.  We have 2 normal embryos out of the seven that were tested.  Unbelievable!  I am on cloud nine with this news.  This is such a sign of encouragement from God.

The next big hurdle is to get my uterine lining corrected.  This is the last major issue I'm dealing with before I get the green light to transfer the embryos back into my uterus.  I will have a biopsy in about 25-27 days and it will take about 3 weeks for the test results to come back.  I'm still doing my daily shot of Lupron and I will start taking Estrace this week (natural estrogen tablets).  My RE is hoping that the mock transfer drugs will correct the issues with my lining.  I guess I 'll know if it works in about 5 or six weeks.

Below is me celebrating one more year!

Lucky 7

I got a call from my RE today and one more embryo made it the the blastocyst stage.  This call did not come until 5:02pm.  I was suffering all day wondering what was going on with my group of slow growing embryos.   I feel like I got a bit of encouragement from God today with this news.  Seven embryos will be tested and hopefully we won't be waiting too long on the results.

The Waiting Game

Remember how hard it was when you were a kid waiting on Christmas or your birthday?  That is what these past 5 days have seemed like.  I did get some very good news from my RE today.  As of today I had 13 embryos and 6 made it to the blastocyst stage.  These were biopsied and immediately frozen.  The lab is watching the other seven embryos and hopefully some of them will make it to the blastocyst stage tomorrow and those will also be frozen (they were biopsied today).  The biopsy's of each embryo were sent to the fancy lab for CGH (genetic testing).  The results will be back in 2 - 6 weeks.

The next step is for me to continue my daily shot of Lupron and wait for AF to start.  Once my period begins I will start taking natural estrogen and on cycle day 25 I'll have another biopsy of my uterine lining.  My RE is hoping that the drugs used when transferring the embryos back into the uterus will help straighten out my lining issues.  If so, then I will be able to transfer the frozen embryos in September.  If NOT, then I will do 3 long months of medically induced menopause and that will delay the embryo transfer until December or January 2010.  

We started our baby making process in January 2007 - two and 1/2 long years ago.  I am really praying for the best.  I know God has a plan but it is so hard to understand the timing of his plan.  I am attaching a link to my church message this past Sunday.  It is about 32 minutes long and it was so powerful for anyone waiting for something in their life.  I felt as though this message was written just for me.  I have felt such utter despair and depression throughout this process.  I try to live my life and not let my infertility rule my life but it is a struggle.

Here is the link:  http://www.buckheadchurch.org/messages .  Then click on The Waiting Room, message Forgotten 7/12/09.  After hearing this message my prayer to God is "I need your encouragement.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm scared and I'm worn out.  I'm going to choose to believe that you haven't forgotten me and that you are preparing me."  Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me.  Please don't stop now.

The Long Wait

I got the update call from my RE today and the good news is out of 26 eggs, 20 were mature and 16 were fertilized.  That is excellent news and now the next big hurtle will be to see how many make it to day 5 (blastocyst stage).  The wait until Monday will feel like forever and it is always scary wondering how many are going to "make it".

I had to go to work today because it is quarter end and I've got a huge reporting package that is due on Friday.  I felt okay today but I'm extremely bloated.  What normally happens is all the follicles fill up with fluid after the eggs are extracted.  The full fluid filled follicles make me so bloated that it is hard to take a deep breath.  It feels like something is pressing on my diaphragm.  I have to follow a low sodium diet to help with the bloating.  I go back to acupuncture on Saturday so hopefully that will help with the bloating.

Here are a few "fun" facts as to what it took to get to this point:  50 shots in the belly, 7 blood draws, 7 vaginal ultrasounds and countless acupuncture sessions.  Not to mention lots of very early appointments to avoid missing time from the office.

The Lonely Uterus

Today was the big day!  We had to be at the clinic at 6am and my retrieval was at 7.30.  My RE came in early so that he could personally do the retrieval himself.  Now for the VERY good news he got a whooping 26 eggs.  Not bad for someone that is 9 days away from turning 42 years old.  I am pleased by the awesome number and now I'm patiently waiting to see how many of the 26 are mature and will be fertilized.  The next report will be tomorrow afternoon.

The next major hurtle will be for the embryos to continue to grow and make it to the blastocyst stage which normally occurs on day 5.  Boring and feel free to skip -  definition of a blastocyst - an embryo that has developed for five to seven days after fertilization and has developed 2 distinct cell types and a central cavity filled with fluid (blastocoel cavity). The cells in a blastocyst have just started to differentiate.  The blastocyst embryo transfer done on day 5 - at a more "natural" time for the embryos to be in the uterus, and very shortly before actual invasion and embryo implantation.

However many embryos that make it to this stage (and these will be the creme de la creme) will be sent off for CGH testing.  This is HUGE news as I will be the first patient from my clinic to have their embryos sent for CGH testing.  This is the testing cutting edge for at the very famous Colorado (CCRM) clinic.  My embryos will be sent to the same lab that CCRM uses.  CGH testing allows for the testing of all 23 chromosomes vs. PGD testing that only tests 9 chromosomes on day 3.  

I'm praying for lots of my embryos to make it to the blastocyst stage.  I figure like any good party the more the merrier.

I headed back to the couch as my pain meds seem to be wearing off now.

Trigger Happy

At my appointment this morning I had 21 follicles and my E2 jumped to 5,149.  I got the go ahead to give myself the trigger shot at 7:30 p.m. sharp and my retrieval will be on Wednesday morning at 7:30 am.  My mom is taking me to the retrieval because my hubby has a hard time getting off work on such a short notice.  His patients get really mad when they have to reschedule.  Not to mention there is no one better than your mother when you don't feel well.  

Wednesday will be a long day because we have to BE at the clinic at six a.m.  At least I can spend the remainder of the day resting.  

Double or Bust

At this mornings appointment I still only have 17 follicles but they are growing.  I actually think I have a few more than that but I got the weekend u/s tech who measures on the light side.  The big (bad) news is my E2 (estradiol) increased to 4,368 which is 2,000 more than yesterday.  This is not good and my RE is letting me skip tonight's shot.  I have my shots in the morning at a reduced dosage and then I'm back tomorrow for my blood work and ultrasound.  I also have my H&P appointment tomorrow with the doctor himself.  (H&P - health and physical)

My uneducated guess right now is that I will take my trigger shot tomorrow and the eggs will be retrieved on Wednesday.