Saturday, January 23, 2010

D&C

I woke up yesterday morning and felt at peace with the upcoming procedure. Feeling disappointed is like putting on a comfy pair of pajamas, it is something I'm use to. The happiness I felt for the past 8 weeks is gone but not forgotten.

My mom took me to my appointment and I felt brave until I was filling out the paper work and I had to fill out a form for my county entitled Record of Miscarriage. I think at that moment it really hit me. I wasn't there for an egg retrieval or some other procedure I was there to have my dead baby removed from my uterus.

The D&C went well and I've had very little pain or bleeding. It will take about 3 or 4 weeks for the genetic tissue testing results come back. I laid around resting yesterday. My DH came home early and was here when my mom & I got home. He has been very sweet and seems to be sad. It is hard for me to know how he is really feeling because as a physician he is use to suppressing his feelings.

The outpouring of support both IRL and in blog land has been amazing. I am so lucky to be surrounded by an amazing family and group of friends. My friend Sunshine came to hang out with me today and watch movies. She even brought an awesome dinner with dessert. I'm going to church tomorrow with my friend S and then I'm treating myself to a hot stones massage.

I just have to keep moving forward and trust in God to get me through this rough time.


15 comments:

  1. You are being so strong. You have been in my mind and please know that I'm thinking of you.

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  2. Dear Peaches,

    It takes a lot of courage to be going through this....I am hopeful that everything will come in your favour sooner than later. I am so sorry for the baby that was not to be, but I hope that 2010 brings you a better chance at becoming a mother.

    Am sending you tons of healing energy. I know that it hurts.

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  3. I'm so glad that things went as well as possible. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

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  4. I just caught up on your last few weeks and I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you. As I read your posts I felt like I was reliving the spring of 2008 where I experienced the same situation. There are no answers to all of the why's...just know that God is in control. ((hugs))

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss and sending lots of love and thoughts.

    I've come here via LFCA - I had no idea what that was until I lost my little girl just four weeks ago, and my blog was flooded with messages of support. It made me feel much more supported, and I only hope I can offer a little bit of that support to you.

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  6. Hi, I'm here from LFCA. I read about your baby having no heartbeat last week and meant to comment so I'm back. I'm so sorry you have to go
    through this and thst you lost your baby. I'm glad you are getting so much support from friends and family. I hope the docs can figure out how to move forward and to bring you your baby:) take care and enjoy the massage:)

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  7. I am so very sorry for all you have gone through. No one deserves this pain.

    Sending you thoughts of peace and strength.

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  9. I'm here from LFCA, as well. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I went through the exact same situation in November. It's so indescribably painful.

    I'm doing better day by day, and I know you will too. If you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen.

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  10. I am so, so sorry for your loss. May God hold you both in the palm of His hand right now.

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  11. So very sorry. Your post made me quite teary as it reminded me of my D&C, as well. It's so hard - so clinical and, like you, I did fine except for certain moments when I didn't. I'm glad you had people to support you through the day.

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  12. To say that I am "glad" that the D&C went "well" sounds wrong, but I guess what I am glad for is that you are feeling okay and are surrounded by love and comfort.

    I am so sorry for your loss and want you to know that I am keeping you in my prayers.

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  13. Been following your story from LFCA. I just had a m/c, and my hubby is a doc, too. I agree that it's hard for them to express their emotions given what they deal with every day. When I told mine, he just said, "I'm really sad," and that was enough to tell me he was really affected by it, too. Blessings to you both, and best of luck as you move forward from here.

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  14. So sorry for your loss, just wanted to send you support from LFCA. Blessings to you & your husband as you cope with this loss.

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