Angry Cervix

My cervix has not been cooperating since before getting pregnant so I don't know why I would expect it to suddenly start behaving. It has become irritated from the progesterone suppositories and I started spotting yesterday. I was a bit freaked out and placed a call to the emergency nurse (the office has been closing early during the holiday season). She confirmed my suspicion that it was just an irritated cervix. I just want to have a smooth pregnancy and I really think I deserve that after everything I've been through to get here.

On a happier note, I had my 5th Beta today and it was 20,453. When I spoke to the nurse this morning she said it would probably rise to 10,000 or 12,000. I thought that seemed low since my last one 8 days ago was 5,083. She said everything looked great and my next appointment will be the ultrasound. I cannot wait!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our family to yours

December ICLW

Welcome ICLW bloggers. I am 42 years old and pregnant for the first time. It has been a long 3 year journey to get here. I did 5 IVF’s but only 3 transfers. I have unexplained infertility but along the way we discovered that my endometrial lining was emitting too much cyclin E during the luteal phase of the endometrial cycle. The only way to attempt to correct this was 3 months of medically induced menopause. I have done this twice. The first time (prior to IVF#3) I have no idea if it worked because although that IVF yielded 14 embryos the genetic testing revealed they were all abnormal. It was a year and 2 IVF’s later that I was put back into medical menopause (via Lupron Depot shots) and as soon as I was done we transferred one CGH tested embryo and it stuck! I’m now 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant with my miracle baby. This happened only by the grace of God.

Can you believe that Christmas is just 3 days away? I hope everyone has their shopping done. I actually got mine done early this year because I didn’t want to be stressed out during my 2 week wait nor did I want to take a chance of getting sick.

Today’s beta was 5,083 and everything is on track. I will have one more beta next Wed (Dec 30^th) and then my first ultrasound will be Jan 6^th to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I can’t wait for that appointment. I’m excited and nervous all rolled into one. I just continue to pray that God will carry me through this pregnancy.

So far the only symptom I’ve had is being exhausted. I can barely function at work and things are only going to get a whole lot worse. I’m a corporate accountant and we are fast approaching our corporate year end close. In January I have a really tight time frame to close the books and get ready for the auditors to descend upon me like a swarm of bees. I always dread January and I’m praying the morning sickness doesn’t kick in soon. I hope to be one of those lucky girls who sail through my pregnancy without it.

God's Miracle Unfolds

I'm 5 weeks today and attached is my first belly shot. I think it will be fun to watch my belly grow (but I'm not looking forward to watching my booty grow). I'm not planning to post my starting weight because I gained about 10-12 LBS from all the fertility drugs or as I like to call it my non-baby weight.

My beta on Friday went well, my hcG went from 528 to 1,386 so it is more than doubling each 48 hours. So far this indicates that I have a strong little baby growing inside me. I go back on Tuesday for another beta. My first ultrasound will be Jan 5th. It would normally be the around Dec 31st but my RE is out of town. I'm so looking forward to that first u/s when I get to hear the baby's heart beat.

So far no symptoms good or bad. My girlfriend J told me to enjoy this next week because the symptoms normally hit around 6 weeks. I had my DH pick up some soda crackers today just in case I need them soon.

A friend asked me if I was planning to continue the blog and the answer is yes! I want to document this journey and I hope everyone will continue to follow God's miracle as it unfolds.

Early Christmas

I wanted to write a quick post to let everyone know that my beta more than doubled over the past 48 hours. It was 528 today. This is an indicator that everything is progressing as it should. I go back Friday for a 3rd blood draw and then I will continue to go back every few days until my beta reaches 10,000.

My husband's parents are out of the country so we decided to send them an e-mail to let them know we are expecting. I sent the attached picture with a note that Christmas came early at our house. I know they will be thrilled since this will only be there 2nd grandchild. I can't wait to hear there responses. I only wish my husband could have told them in person.

God's Answer to my Prayers

God has answered my prayers! I'm pregnant!!! After 3 very long years of trying to get pregnant it finally happened. I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me. Your prayers mean so much and this would not have happened without them. I've questioned God and his timing so much but as one friend pointed out to me this is my turn. So many of my friends have been pregnant this year and it has been a hard year for me but now I will have their wisdom and new mother experiences to help me.

My beta today was 165.6 (hcG level). I go back on Wednesday and the number should double. This is one way to determine a viable pregnancy. I still have to continue taking my estrace pills and the progesterone suppositories until further notice. I think in two weeks I will get to hear the heartbeat. I'm scared but I've decided to enjoy every day of being pregnant and not let the fear take root. God has already mapped out his path for me and this baby and worrying will not change that. I will be constantly reminding myself of that.

Thank you God!

Sew Busy & The Dreaded Two Week Wait

Sew Busy

I have been busy this year cross stitching baby gifts for all the people that I know who have been or are about to have a baby. The attached picture is going to be my niece Olivia's Christmas present. It took me about 5 months to stitch this design but I think it was time well spent.

The Dreaded Two Week Wait (actually mine is 10 days)

I can honestly say that this past week has been the longest week of my life. I feel like I'm just sitting and waiting! I have none of my normal distractions and I'm completely distracted and work and can barely concentrate. I'm trying to put off the more difficult stuff (if it can wait) until next week. I can't exercise and I'm not shopping much because hopefully I will be pregnant and won't need new (non-maternity) clothes for a while. I finished 90% of my Christmas shopping prior to the transfer and I wrapped and mailed all my gifts this week. I'm hovering between hopeful and doubtful. I'm excited and scared. I'm looking forward to Monday but I'm dreading it at the same time. I've spent every spare moment praying and begging God to let this be my turn to get pregnant. I'm meditating at night with an IVF CD that helps me visualize the embryo implanting and it provides me with positive affirmation that I've done everything I can possibly do to make this a success. I want this more than anything else right now. We have so much love to give our child and we are ready to give that love.

I'm P.U.P.O

P.U.P.O stands for "pregnant until proven otherwise". That is my status right now. I keep repeating it to myself. I had a nice weekend lounging around and being taken care of by my mother and my girlfriends. My mother stayed Friday night and cooked a yummy dinner for us. On Saturday my girlfriend S brought breakfast and hung out with me for a while. She also brought her tiny poodle Pip for a visit. The kitties like to ignore Pip which is funny. On Saturday evening my friend Sunshine brought dinner and a movie. My DH got off good this weekend but he did go do the grocery shopping. On Sunday S came back over and hung out with me and then that evening my dad and stepmother dropped by with some food from a Christmas family gathering that I was unable to attend.

I went back to work today and this week should be relatively stress free. This next weekend will be busy so hopefully I will have enough distractions to keep me from POAS (peeing on a stick). Since I'm home early tonight (no gym for me) I'm actually cooking dinner. I hope my DH doesn't get use to this.

Transfer Day

This is our beautiful embryo that was transferred today. The transfer went well after a few false starts. I had to drink 40 oz of water prior to getting to the office and my bladder was SUPER full. My doctor was running late so the U/S tech said I could let out a little bit of urine. That is one of the hardest things to do. Super full bladder + having to stop in midstream = torture.

I posted before that my cervix seems to be closed up and that is the reason I had to have the cervical stitch. The first attempt at getting the catheter in did not go well so my RE decided to use a different sized catheter. He got this through my cervix easily while I watched on the ultrasound screen. Oh, I forgot to mention that the u/s tech was pressing the wand on my super full bladder the entire time. After the transfer the embryologist takes the catheter back in the lab to make sure it is empty. Of course mine was NOT. The embryo was stuck in the tip of the catheter. This is not harmful to the embryo which was my first thought. My RE had to use yet another type of catheter and everything went perfect on the last attempt. He then removed the cervical stitch and I didn't even feel it.

After lying on the table for about 20 minutes and spending 10 minutes emptying my bladder my mom drove me to the acupuncturist. I had a nice relaxing session and then came home to lie on the couch. My weekend plans are to lie flat on my back. My mom cooked dinner tonight and I have a friend bring me breakfast tomorrow and another friend bringing over a movie & dinner tomorrow night. My DH is getting off easy this weekend.

My beta (pregnancy test) is December 14th. These next 10 days are going to seem like eternity. Please keep the prayers going strong.

Last Meal

I had a lovely sushi dinner tonight with my mother. I am hoping this will be the last sushi I am able to eat for nine months. My mother lives about an hour away so she is spending the night tonight and taking me to the transfer tomorrow.

My transfer is at 12:30 p.m. and I have the last appointment slot so I can take as much time as I need lying on the table afterwards. I'm planning to spend 30 minutes lying flat on my back, then we are going straight to acupuncture to help calm my uterus and get the blood flowing directly to the uterus to allow for optimal conditions for implantation. When I get home I will update my blog.

I have had so many texts, phone calls and e-mails from my IRL friends and my blog buddies. I really appreciate the kind words and prayers. I'm praying hard for a miracle.

A Stitch in Mine

WARNING: Daddy skip this post - please

I went to the RE yesterday for my cervical stitch. My appointment was at 7.30 am - not the best way to start a Tuesday morning. I knew I was in trouble when the nurse kept saying "Oh, I'm sorry you have to have this. Yikes! Step 1 - spray the cervix with acid (I mean numbing spray). Step 2 - inject the cervix multiple times with numbing solution. However cervix isn't yet numb from spray so I felt the injections. Step 3 - put in stitch which involved lots of tugging and pressure. Done. My RE said that he was going to leave the thread long so it would be easy to remove on the day of the transfer. He said it would be like a tampon string and not to worry about it. I asked him if I could still work out because I didn't want to do anything to bust the stitch. I ONLY asked about working out but his response was you can work out, have inter.course (his word not mine), do most anything and not bust the stitch.

Fast forward to lunch time. I met my girlfriend JG for lunch and excused myself to run to the restroom. As I finished up I noticed not 1 but 2 cobalt blue 5 inch strings hanging out of my whoo-ha. I was NOT expecting that! I told JG I don't know what the RE was thinking when he said I could have s.e.x because what if those strings got wrapped around DH's joystick. I can only imagine that 911 call.

Everything is set for the transfer on Friday. I went to acupuncture on Monday and I'm going again tomorrow and then again Friday after the transfer. There went those new boots I saw at DSW today.

I want to take a moment to thank all the people that are praying for me. Just knowing how many people are praying for me fills my heart with love and joy. Thank you.