I had a lovely pre-Thanksgiving dinner at my dad's house today. I even baked a broccoli casserole to take with us. It was a lovely day and all of my family was there, including my niece who lives in Tennessee (her husband is in the Army) and my nephew who is in the Army in North Carolina. It was nice to be together and I got to hold my 19 year old nephew's 3 month old baby. She is a darling little girl with big eyes and a sweet disposition. As I looked at that little miracle my heart skipped a beat or two thinking that maybe this time next year that will be me.
As the day came to an end and just a few of us were sitting in the living room my sister R said guess who's pregnant. Only my married niece and unmarried 21 year old nephew were in the room. I of course looked at my niece as my nephew's girlfriend raised her hand. WHAT?? I was in shock (which probably saved me from bursting into tears right away). After the shock wore off I had to excuse myself so I could have a mini cry in the bathroom. I felt like someone had slammed me in the heart with a sledgehammer. Both my sister's hugged me tight when I came back in the room and said how sorry they were. My nephew is in college on a baseball scholarship with a promising future as a professional baseball player. I know my sister R is crushed because this of course changes everything. They both have 3 semesters of college left but the baby will be here in July so I have no idea what will happen now. Every baby is a miracle and gift from God. I have to keep reminding myself of that, but could the timing be any worse for them? I feel like God is playing a cruel joke on me. Really. My brother & nephew both had a baby this year and now my other nephew is expecting. 3 new babies are entering my family in 1 year and I'm about to enter my 3rd year of just trying to get pregnant. No one ever said life was fair.