Goal Setting

It is that time of year again at work. We have to set goals for the year (ok we are a little behind here). I was trying to think of some creative goals to set for myself that my boss would approve. It isn't easy because I'm an accountant and lets face it not much changes in this role. The other thing that makes it difficult is my #1 goal is to have a baby and quit work. Hmm, I wonder what my boss would think of that goal. Somehow I don't think that one would go over too well. I wonder how I will react if I'm unable to obtain that goal. I have so much hope pinned on Friday's beta. I just don't know how I can suddenly change my life goals and live childfree. I know my DH can do it, but can I? If it comes down to that then I will just have to live in the moment and take life one day at a time.

Please send some prayers my way. I really need them to get me through Friday.

Weekend Distractions

I managed to stay busy this weekend. Friday night my DH & I had dinner with Sunshine her and DB. It was a last minute casual meal, but a nice way to cap off the work week.

On Saturday I laid around all afternoon reading a book and resting while my poor DH worked in the yard. Saturday night S & I met Sunshine to celebrate her birthday which is this week. We had dinner at a posh local restaurant and I toasted Sunshine with my glass of sparking water. Sunshine loved her gifts and it was fun just hanging out with my wonderful girlfriends. They have both been big supporters of mine during my battle with infertility.

Sunday I went to church and then afterwards S & I went to this huge art festival in Atlanta. There were approximately 300 booths of nice art work. This is a high end festival which is part of the fun. The 3^rd booth that we stopped at S & I both bought a piece of art. I will have to get mine framed but it just made me smile and I knew it would look great in my newly painted dining room. S & I walked about a mile just to meet up with another friend and after all that exercise we decided we had earned a funnel cake. It was funny because while the art was high end the food was not. That is the best thing about a festival the junk food. S & I devoured the funnel cake, it was hot & yummy. The only bad part of the day was the horrible pollen. I sneezed all day long and after I got home my sinuses were a mess and since I’m PUPO I didn’t want to take anything. I am feeling a bit better today.

To my anonymous commentator: I did eat an entire pineapple (core and all) over a 5 day period. I bought it a few days prior to the transfer and then cut it up prior to the transfer. I warned DH that if he ate any of it he would have to go and buy me another pineapple. I think that scared him from eating any. He didn’t want to mess with my “plan”. The other thing I do during my TWW (two week wait) is I don’t drink anything cold. I drink my water with no ice and if I’m at home I keep my Brita pitcher on the counter so the water is room temperature. My acupuncturist said the uterus doesn’t like to be cold. She also recommends only drinking warm drinks during menstruation to help with cramps. I’m holding off on acupuncture this week until after I get my beta results. I’ve gotten mixed advice about acupuncture during the TWW so I have chosen to forgo it for now.

I plan to stay busy this week. Thursday is my four year wedding anniversary and then Friday is my beta. I just keep taking deep relaxing breaths and telling myself I’m pregnant. I’m praying my dream comes true. What an awesome anniversary present that would be.

Day of Drama

The last 24 hours have been full of stress and drama. Yesterday morning after I got out of the shower I discovered that my stitch was no longer visible. I was worried that I had somehow pulled it out so I looked around, then unscrewed the drain cap and looked and lastly I checked my loofah scrubby and still no stitch. I did however have some mild cervical cramping but thought that might be the progesterone. My mom drove up last night to cook dinner and drive me around today. We went for a nice walk and then came home to shower. She went first and walked out of the bathroom holding a cobalt blue string and said "is this what you were looking for?" My heart sank because I HAD lost the stitch. I somehow pulled it out (It was still tied in a knot) and I guess it caught on my towel and when I flipped the towel over the shower curtain it feel back into the tub. I knew there was nothing that could be done about it. The cervical stitch was put in to help assist my RE getting the catheter in place. I decided I would just call my RE when the office opened Tuesday morning.

I called the RE office this morning and was informed that my doctors wife had fallen and might have a cracked rib and my RE was out to take her to the doctor so someone else might have to do my transfer. I felt like crying because I really trust him and without the stitch I knew my transfer was going to be more difficult than a normal transfer. I asked the nurse if I could just push back the transfer and wait on him. She said she would have to let me know. Later I got a call directly from my RE on his cell phone and I'm thinking no big deal he is just calling about the transfer but he was calling to let me know that the quality of my CGH tested embryo didn't look great and the head lab doctor was recommending thawing out my PGD tested embryo and putting back both. My DH has been very against inputting 2 embryos so I told my RE I would have to call my DH first. DH agreed to putting back both and my RE said he would be there to do the transfer.

I'm happy to report the transfer went smoothly. This was probably the easiest one I've done. I went for acupuncture after the transfer and now I'm home relaxing. My beta is on April 23! For now I'm PUPO - pregnant until proven otherwise and praying like crazy.

I'm P.U.P.O

P.U.P.O stands for "pregnant until proven otherwise". That is my status right now. I keep repeating it to myself. I had a nice weekend lounging around and being taken care of by my mother and my girlfriends. My mother stayed Friday night and cooked a yummy dinner for us. On Saturday my girlfriend S brought breakfast and hung out with me for a while. She also brought her tiny poodle Pip for a visit. The kitties like to ignore Pip which is funny. On Saturday evening my friend Sunshine brought dinner and a movie. My DH got off good this weekend but he did go do the grocery shopping. On Sunday S came back over and hung out with me and then that evening my dad and stepmother dropped by with some food from a Christmas family gathering that I was unable to attend.

I went back to work today and this week should be relatively stress free. This next weekend will be busy so hopefully I will have enough distractions to keep me from POAS (peeing on a stick). Since I'm home early tonight (no gym for me) I'm actually cooking dinner. I hope my DH doesn't get use to this.